We’re your customers. That’s right, we pay your bills - so listen up. Why can’t you remember what we ordered? It’s not like you’ve been on a sabbatical. Consider the difference. One competent, professional waiter delivers hot food from the kitchen and carefully places the correct plate in front of each of us at the table - without saying a word. A second waitperson arrives at the table braying out a litany of, “Who ordered the chicken fried?” “The bar-b-que ribs? Where do they go?” “Ok, I’ve got a side of mash, a pinto and two orders of fries. Anybody got a clue?” Continue reading ‘What did You Order?’
We’re your customers. That’s right, we pay your bills - so listen up. We have names, and they’re not: “Hi there.” “Hey, welcome,” “Good evening,” “Good to see you,” “Right this way,” “Please follow me,” “I’ll be right with you,” “I’ll be your waitperson tonight,” “Thanks for coming,” “Come back again,” or “Hey, you!”
A “chicken or egg” argument can be made for you guys calling us by our names and our becoming your restaurant regulars vs. our becoming restaurant regulars thereby forcing you to call us by our names. We vote for argument No. 1, because there is nothing we love hearing more than our own names - unless it’s the five o’clock whistle. We don’t have a resident psychologist to explain it to you, but let’s have a try anyway. How about: it makes us feel welcome and important. Continue reading ‘What’s In a Name?’
Just Give Me a Glass of Your House White
5 Comments Published by Bill October 11th, 2006 in Grape Gripes.We’re your customers. That’s right, we pay your bills - so listen up. Why can’t we understand your wine list? We know what we like, but your wine list doesn’t give us a clue. Ok, so we’re not wine knowledgeable, don’t hate us because we’d still like some wine that we’ll enjoy. We really like wine, especially with a good meal. But we don’t want to study the stuff so we can understand your wine list and know how a wine will taste.
Count these: 1) County of Origin, 2) Producer, 3) Vintage date, 4) Appellation, 5) Variety of Grape, 6) Vineyard, and 7) season the grapes were picked (Ice Wine, Late Harvest, etc.). That’s right, seven items of information must be catalogued and understood to give us a chance at knowing what a wine tastes like when reading your traditional wine list. Keep six of these, change the seventh, and all bets are off on how the wine will taste. We get as confused as a blind dog in a meat house.
Continue reading ‘Just Give Me a Glass of Your House White’
World’s Most Uncomfortable Barstool
3 Comments Published by Bill September 26th, 2006 in I Need a Drink.We’re your customers. That’s right, we pay your bills – so listen up. Why are your barstools so uncomfortable? Do you really want us to jump ship and move to another bar where we can adjust our attitude in comfort? Before you defend your barstools, sit in one for thirty minutes without getting up. Do you feel relieved to get up, or do you want to order another toddy and kick back.
There are thousands of attempts at barstool design – meaning no barstool designer has yet gotten it right. Continue reading ‘World’s Most Uncomfortable Barstool’
